


Real Reasons

by antioedipus



Series: Wild World [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Aoba is an asshole with a heart of gold, Background Hayate/Yuugao, F/M, Friends on vacation, Friendship, Gen, Kakashi and Guy and Ibiki are in the background, Recreational Drug Use, Romance, Smut, Yuugao and Tenzou are bffs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 15:33:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30108123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antioedipus/pseuds/antioedipus
Summary: Aoba wakes up on the floor, and he realizes that this is what betrayal feels like."Aoba tilts his head, looking at her carefully. “Shizune, do you even think you’re a person?” Before she can answer, they all hear a loud thud downstairs, which can only mean that Guy is finally back."
Relationships: Mitarashi Anko & Yamashiro Aoba, Namiashi Raidou/Yuuhi Kurenai, Sarutobi Asuma/Shizune, Shiranui Genma & Yuuhi Kurenai
Series: Wild World [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2208864
Comments: 6
Kudos: 4





	Real Reasons

“I will take good care of you”

Mitski, “I Will”

Since they started renting cottages as a group, Anko and Aoba always get the main bedroom to share, even when people started coupling up. When challenged by Shizune and Genma, who didn’t want to have to share a room with Kurenai or Raidou or each other, Aoba declared that he would not allow their retreats to become ‘a den of whoredom and sin,’ ergo, Aoba and Anko always get the nice room with the biggest mattress.

The logic is faulty but Aoba and Anko also supply the drugs, and it’s only Genma and Shizune who are put out by the arrangement, so everyone lets Aoba and Anko have their way. It’s only for a week, and even then, at least one or two of them are technically ‘on call,’ i.e., they could be summoned back to Konoha at any time. They’ve only been there for three days, and the first two nights were complete fuck shows. Asuma and Kakashi spent one night, high as fuck, lying on the roof, arms spread out, unable and unwilling to look away from the stars. Genma has thrown up two nights in a row, Kurenai holding back his hair and rubbing his back. Tenzou tripped so hard that he thought he saw a giant phoenix rise from the lake, wings flapping, and he had to lie down on the dock, his head on Yuugao’s lap while she and Hayate helped him ride his trip out. Guy built a complex pillow fort while Raidou and Ibiki sat back and pointed out whenever the roof began to sag. Shizune was busy going between everyone, trying to ensure that no one was dying.

Anko and Aoba wandered around the woods for thirty-six hours, came back and surveyed the wreckage, before shrugging and getting into bed to sleep it off.

So, everyone decided that their third night would be substance free (weed and booze don’t count as substances). Pretty much everyone but Yuugao, Kurenai, Shizune and Tenzou got stoned, before waddling up to their beds and passing out. Asuma passed out with his feet on his pillow and his head at the foot of his bed while Kakashi’s feet hung of the end of his mattress. Guy ended up passing out on the couch, curled up like a baby. Hayate elbowed Yuugao when he crawled into bed, making her squeak and Tenzou sit up, before he muttered to himself and rolled over. Genma passed out in Raidou’s bed, which was closest to the bedroom door. Raidou crawled into bed next to Kurenai and woke her up when his arm flopped across her stomach, lying on his own stomach, one of his legs on hers. He woke Shizune up with his snoring, which is when she turned on the light and sat up, mouth open, ready to kick him out. Ibiki was the only one who actually made it into his bed, managing to brush his teeth too.

Aoba passed out on his stomach, Anko’s head on his arm, her snoring comforting him as he nodded off. He remembers nothing after closing his eyes.

The next morning, Aoba is dreaming about the ground disappearing beneath him, and as he falls, he comes to right before his shoulder hits the ground. He blinks, feeling his brain shake around his head, as he rolls onto his back and stares at the wood panelled ceiling. _What the hell_ …

Aoba sits up and is nearly smacked in the face by Anko’s pale hand, her arm hanging off the mattress. He makes an irritated noise in his throat, and stands up, looking down at Anko’s peaceful face, and then Kurenai, who is asleep on her back, and Shizune, with her back to Kurenai and her leg hanging off of the bed. Aoba frowns, wondering why Kurenai and Shizune are in here, and why Anko let them stay. His head hurts and like most people who’ve knocked back a few beers and taken a few rips of a bowl, he’s groggy and wants to go back to sleep.

Anko is now in his spot, and Kurenai and Shizune have taken up the rest of the space. Aoba narrows his eyes—he wants someone to blame and considering how dumb Raidou is and the fact that Asuma is hooked up with the Shizune a few months ago, it is very easy for him to blame the two of them for whatever they must have done to drive Shizune and Kurenai into here. They tell Anko everything, which means he knows everything, which means he knows that Raidou and Asuma are even dumber than he thought they were.

He grumbles to himself as he waddles over to the closet and pulls out an extra blanket, wrapping it around himself before he leaves the room and heads downstairs, the blanket trailing behind him despite his height. He doesn’t even bother putting his sunglasses on, and his hair is sticking up in strange angles.

He walks into the kitchen with a frown on his face, while Raidou and Asuma sit at the table with Genma and Kakashi, the former sipping his coffee while the latter has his morning cigarette. Guy is humming to himself while he makes pancakes, and Ibiki is flipping through a book. Hayate is sipping his own coffee, and with the exception of the sizzling pan and Guy’s hum, everything is quiet.

They all turn to look at Aoba, who is standing at the entrance of the kitchen, glaring at Raidou and Asuma, who look at each other before looking at Aoba.

“Good morning,” Raidou says, inflecting like it’s a question rather than a statement.

“I feel betrayed,” Aoba says, “by two of my oldest friends!” Aoba is only wearing a pair of boxers and a blanket, and there is a lump on the side of his head. Everyone is quiet as they look at him, trying to remember what exactly happened last night. “J’accuse!” Aoba says, pointing right at Asuma and Raidou, who tilt their heads and blink.

“J’accuse,” Raidou says, “what does that even mean?”

“It means I accuse, as in, I accuse you two of fucking up my sleep!” Aoba shouts.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Raidou says, setting his coffee down.

“Yeah, me too,” Asuma says, puffing on his cigarette.

“Don’t lie to me,” Aoba says, pulling the blanket around him, “I know you two did something.”

“You’ve lost it,” Asuma replies, “all those drugs have finally scrambled your brain.”

“Stop gaslighting me!” Aoba retorts, walking into the middle of the kitchen. Raidou sighs loudly, rubbing his jaw.

“You’re so fucking loud,” he says, “can’t you calm down?”

“No, I will not calm down,” Aoba says, “you know, I really empathize with Kurenai and Shizune, if this is your approach to interpersonal conflict—”

“Do you hear yourself?” Raidou asks, while Genma and Kakashi look over at Hayate, Ibiki and Guy. Asuma rolls his eyes and props his chin up with his fist, blinking lazily.

“Don’t speak over me,” Aoba says, “you two are such assholes.”

“Okay, but what did we do?” Raidou asks. Asuma just laughs at the enraged look on Aoba’s face, rubbing his eyes and wishing he had stayed in bed this morning.

“Aoba, friend, pal, buddy,” Guy says, “I love the vigor with which you seize the day, but you’re ruining our time together—”

“Ruining?” Aoba hisses,” they ruined my morning!” Guy puts his hands up in a gesture of innocence. “Because of these two, I got pushed out of my own bed!”

“You’re very loud,” Hayate says in a quiet voice. Aoba glares at him.

“I am not the problem!”

“How the fuck did we get you pushed out of bed when we were down here?” Raidou asks, trying to piece everything together.

“Because Kurenai and Shizune decided to bunk with me and Anko, and I only found out when the three of them pushed me out of bed!” Aoba whines, “I was dreaming, and then falling, and I woke up on the floor.”

“So that was where that thud came from,” Genma says.

“And what does that have to do with us?” Asuma asks.

“Well, why would they be in my bed if the two of you hadn’t done something?” Aoba asks.

“Flawless logic,” Genma grins, “a ten out of ten. I personally think it’s revenge for your drugs nearly killing us two nights in a row.”

“I don’t recall forcing you to take anything,” Aoba says, “it’s not my fault you all overestimate how much you can actually handle!”

At that moment, Tenzou and Yuugao come in through the kitchen door, sweaty and out of breath. They go jogging every morning, even hungover. Yuugao smiles at Hayate, who gives her a little wave as she kicks off her shoes, while Tenzou looks to Aoba, who, when they walked in, is flapping his arms, making the blanket billow around him, half-naked.

“So that’s what your eyes look like,” Tenzou says. Aoba turns and glares at him, pulling the blanket over his head and swaddling himself.

“You’re such a sulky baby,” Genma says, “I haven’t seen you like this since Ibiki said you’re an ugly girl’s Kakashi.” Aoba was being particularly obnoxious, and Ibiki isn’t known for pulling his punches.

“I stand by that statement,” Ibiki says, smiling when Aoba glares are him.

“I have come to the conclusion that justice is impossible in a world where any of you are fucking our female friends,” Aoba declares, “Raidou, Asuma, the two of you are directly responsible for all the misery in our young lives.”

“Oh boy,” Hayate says, as Yuugao sits on the counter beside him. He passes her his coffee mug, as she takes a sip out of it.

“That’s a mighty big claim,” Asuma drawls. At least he _knows_ he’s stupid.

“Tenzou,” Aoba says, ignoring everyone else, “one day you’ll be like me. Kicked out of your own bed!”

“I’d never,” Yuugao says, before taking another sip of Hayate’s coffee. Tenzou makes a happy noise as he goes to the fridge.

“Women are liars,” Aoba says, “I never thought Anko would betray me, and look where I am!”

“Hayate, do you ever think that Yuugao likes Tenzou more than you?” Genma asks, in part, to make Aoba feel ignored and see what he’ll say next. Hayate shrugs, before Yuugao taps his shoulder and gives him his coffee mug back. They smile at each other, like they’re sharing a secret.

“Does anyone care about me?” Aoba says, hugging himself. “I get no respect around here,” he whines.

“Why would you?” Ibiki deadpans, which makes Genma crack up.

“We should tape this,” Genma laughs. Aoba spins on his heel to say something nasty, when he hears a loud yawn behind him.

“Video tape what?” Anko asks, scratching the back of her head. Kurenai walks over to pick up a pancake with her bare hands, smiling at Guy. Shizune smiles when Ibiki offers her a cup of coffee. Aoba opens his mouth, but Asuma beats him.

“Aoba’s breakdown.”

“A truly sudden and swift descent into madness,” Guy says, pointing the spatula at Aoba.

“That’s because you fucks create the conditions under which madness is the only logical response,” Aoba shoots back, “who can blame me for being a man on the edge?”

“What’s it going to take to push you over?” Ibiki asks, bored. Aoba gives him a spiteful look, to which Ibiki can only grin in response.

“Okay, I’m confused,” Shizune says, “Aoba, why are you yelling?”

“I’m yelling,” he says, “because you and Kurenai kicked me out of my own bed. I woke up on the floor.”

“I was wondering where you ended up,” Anko says, getting herself a glass of water.

“The thud didn’t wake any of you?” Asuma asks, incredulous.

“Aoba, are you not going to mention how you blamed Raidou and Asuma?” Genma says, “because, to be clear, he is yelling at them because he thinks they did something to Kurenai and Shizune.”

Kurenai stops chewing the food in her mouth, blinking, while Shizune frowns, confused. Genma grins wide and sits back, crossing his arms, because he knows that this is going to be good.

“What?” Shizune asks.

“Why else would the two of you insist on sleeping next to Anko?” Aoba asks. Never, in a million years, would Raidou or Asuma ever risk Anko’s wrath.

“There was a really big spider,” Kurenai says, swallowing the food in her mouth. “Raidou was so stoned that he couldn’t wake up to get it.”

“That’s it?” Aoba asks, incredulous. “I was pushed out of bed, because the two of you saw a spider?”

“It was a big spider,” Kurenai says, “and Raidou was conked right out.”

“Like a big, snoring baby,” Shizune says, “that’s why I turned the light on.”

“And you gave him the pot,” Kurenai says, “you dug your own grave.”

“Shizune, you summon slugs!” Aoba says, “and Kurenai, you sleep next to Raidou, who snores like he is literally about to die, but you draw the line at a little spider?” No one says anything as Aoba makes a noise in the back of his throat, before he turns around and leaves the kitchen, stomping back up the stairs.

No one says anything for a bit, watching Aoba leave. “That,” Genma says, “was fucking entertaining.”

**

Aoba wakes up four hours later, to four familiar voices. He blinks awake, sticking his head up and looking beside him. Anko is pressed up beside him, her elbow level with his face. She stops talking and looks down when she notices that he is awake.

“Hi pal,” she says, ruffling his hair, “feeling better?” Aoba rolls onto his back, pouting.

“No,” he replies, “you’ve gone and brought outsiders into our room again.” He glares at Kurenai and Shizune, who are sitting at the edge of the bed, while Genma is seated on a chair beside Aoba, clearly bored.

“I’ve been waiting for you to wake up,” Genma says, “everyone else is being lame and boring.”

“Raidou and Asuma are napping,” Shizune says, “and Kakashi ditched Genma for Guy and Ibiki.”

“They didn’t even invite me!” Genma squawks, “and then Yuugao, Hayate and Yamato decided to go on a hike or something, so it’s just me and these three.”

“You make us sound terrible,” Shizune says.

“I don’t know, maybe it’s because I have to listen to you and Kurenai go on and on about what you want in a man?” Genma whines, “it’s so boring. There are only so many times I can hear someone say they want an emotional and intellectual connection before I have to put my head through a wall.”

“An emotional and intellectual connection?” Aoba asks, amused. “Why are you fucking with Raidou and Asuma? They have, like, five braincells and three feelings between the two of them.” Shizune frowns.

“It’s not like that with Asuma,” she says in a quiet voice. Try as she might, while she cares for him and they had a lot of fun, she doesn’t feel that way about him. Kurenai, on the other hand, looks outright offended, and she has this expression on her face where you can see the vein about to pop out of her forehead. She made the same tight, angry expression when Aoba asked her if she ever fantasized about Raidou and Asuma tag teaming Genma. Then, like now, Aoba found the expression on her face entertaining, and he stands by jabbing his finger into her sternum and calling her a ‘filthy fucking pervert.’ 

“Look, I love them,” Aoba says, “I’d even let them punch me in, but no one talks to Asuma or Raidou for their emotional and intellectual depth.”

“Even Asuma and Raidou would say that,” Genma says, twirling a saliva covered senbon in his fingers. Shizune and Kurenai still look sour, so Aoba sighs and sits up.

“Look, it’s not my fault that neither of you are as deep as you’d like to be.” Aoba rubs his forehead, as Anko tries, very hard, to keep a neutral face while Genma grins like there is blood in the water.

“That’s just rude,” Kurenai huffs, crossing her arms. Shizune doesn’t say anything, but she does look really, really mad.

“Sometimes cute and dumb is all you need,” Anko says in a placating voice, “there’s no shame in that.” Aoba makes a frustrated noise in his throat,

“Look, I don’t get why you two need some noble reason or whatever,” he says, “sexuality is all about objectification.” Aoba rolls onto his side and stands up, lumbering over to his suitcase. “Fuck, I’m stiff,” he whines. His muscles always cramp when he overdoes it.

“That’s what happens when you do drugs,” Shizune says, “and you take the kind of drugs that should stop your heart dead.” Aoba turns and looks at her, smirking.

“Whoa,” he says, “sounds cool.” Genma smirks as he sticks his senbon back in his mouth, while Shizune looks at Aoba like he’s an idiot.

“Are you trying to die?”

“At least I’m not pretending to be a better person than I am,” he says, opening his suitcase. “I would never tell you that I’m looking for a, what did you call it?”

“An emotional and intellectual connection,” Genma says, with a shit-eating grin.

“Yeah, I would never, for a second, lie and act like I have some sort of deep reason for having sex with someone.” Aoba pulls a shirt out of his suitcase, pulling it over his head. He debates whether or not he wants to change his boxers, but then he remembers that there is no one here who he’s trying to impress and well, he feels like he maintains some mystique if Anko is the only one who has seen his dick. “I’m speaking for the vast majority of men when I say that when my dick is in a girl’s mouth, I’m not thinking about how she is a complex person with her own thoughts and feelings and capital-D Dreams for the Future, I am only wondering when and how I’m going to ask where I should come.” He pulls out a pair of sweatpants, ignoring the dumbstruck look on Shizune and Kurenai’s faces, while Genma continues to smile.

“That’s very dehumanizing,” Kurenai says, “and I thought that you were the one who respects women.”

“That’s Tenzou,” Aoba says, “and I don’t know why you’re complaining about me.”

“You’re talking about us like we aren’t people,” Kurenai says.

“Raidou and Asuma don’t think you are people.” Aoba says without missing a beat, sticking one of his legs into his pants, before sticking his other leg in and pulling them up past his hips.

“That’s just not true,” Kurenai says. As someone who is both fucking Raidou and friends with Asuma, she thinks it’s just plain mean for Aoba to speak so rudely.

“Yeah,” Shizune says. She won’t get into the specifics but Asuma never made her feel like she isn’t a person. If anything, he made her feel like a human being.

“Testosterone is a hell of a drug,” Genma drawls, amused at the expression on Kurenai and Shizune’s faces. Anko is sitting back, so clearly, she’s letting Aoba give them the talking-to that she has been putting off.

“You don’t think someone is a person if the first thing you think is ‘would I have sex with her?” Aoba says, “believe it or not, every time Asuma and Raidou look at you, before they can even think, they answer ‘yes’ to that question. It’s not very complicated.”

“They don’t have a lot of depth,” Genma says.

“And in their defence, it’s not like you two treat them like people either and besides, pretty much every guy asks himself that question when he meets someone. It’s nothing personal, which, now that I say it, may be the problem.” Aoba yawns, stretching up into a strong line. Kurenai and Shizune sit there in silence, not really knowing how to a) process all of this information and b) calculate how offended they ought to be. Anko sips from a glass of water, waiting for their reaction.

“You know, Aoba,” Genma says, “you’re the only guy I know who doesn’t ask that question when you first meet a woman.”

“It’s question number three,” Aoba says, “right after ‘what’s her name’ and ‘does she smell nice?”

“You’re still a better man than anyone we know, including me,” Genma says, setting his feet up onto the bed. Kurenai frowns and pinches his big toe, which makes Genma wince, but he refuses to otherwise react.

“You still treat me like a person,” Kurenai says. Genma snorts.

“I still ask myself ‘would I?’ The answer is just no.” He reaches forward and squeezes Kurenai’s wrist, forcing her to let go of his toe. “I treat you like you are mammalian, and that’s just because I don’t think you lay eggs and you always have your tits out.”

“So,” Kurenai says, “if you two are so smart, what is Raidou’s real reason?”

“What are you thinking of when Raidou is eating you out?” Genma says, “because that’s your answer.” Kurenai makes an angry noise, right from the back of her throat. Aoba turns around and grins.

“Not our fault that their real reasons fail to live up to your expectations.” Aoba walks over to the bed, pushing Genma’s feet so that he can climb back on to sit next to Anko. She hasn’t said a word, which is how he knows that he and Genma are giving Kurenai and Shizune the life lesson they needed.

Kurenai looks put out, and she sticks her tongue into her cheek. Shizune doesn’t look much happier, but Genma doesn’t know how to bring her out of her shell, not like Kurenai.

“Kurenai, riddle me this—would you suck my big toe?” Genma asks. Kurenai frowns.

“You could put your whole foot in my mouth, if it could fit,” she simpers, recovering herself. She only takes this tone with Genma—she likes gross flirting with him because he has no interest.

“Even if I don’t cut my toenails?” he asks, grinning. Kurenai smiles back, keen to outdo him.

“You don’t even have to wash your foot,” she says, in a wicked voice.

“You two are disgusting,” Shizune says, crossing her arms.

“I’m nastier with Genma than I am with Raidou,” Kurenai says, looking right at Genma. He returns her smile, and not for the first time, Shizune and Anko question just how committed Kurenai and Genma are to not actually fucking.

Shizune turns her attention to Aoba, who didn’t even bother putting on deodorant. He still isn’t wearing his sunglasses, and Shizune has to admit, he’s cute. Kinda like Anko, you only realize how sweet looking he really is when he stops and lets you get a good look at him.

“No sunglasses?” she asks.

“Today, I choose to see everything with eyes wide open, nothing between me and the world,” Aoba hums, stretching out his arms.

“Did you even put on deodorant today?” Shizune asks, knowing the answer. Aoba frowns.

“New rule: anyone who has let one of my friends put a dick in them is not allowed to judge me, and that includes you,” Aoba says, pointing right at Shizune.

“Are we not friends, Aoba?” Shizune asks. He opens his mouth to respond, but Anko rolls her eyes and decides to cut in before he further embarrasses himself.

“You’re such a sensitive baby,” Anko says, “Shizune is just trying to keep you clean.”

“Well, I never,” Aoba says, ready to get going on another tangent while Kurenai and Genma play chicken, when Shizune speaks.

“So, that’s the truth?” Shizune asks, “Asuma doesn’t think I’m a person?” She looks genuinely disappointed, which is why Aoba and Anko don’t immediately tease her.

Shizune knows that the sex didn’t mean anything big or cosmic, but it was a lot of fun. Asuma made her feel very safe and protected, and the week he spent sneaking into her parents’ house was easily one of the nicest ones she has had in recent memory. It wasn’t just sex, either. It was nice having someone around who took a genuine interest in her. One thing he said was that he finally felt like a normal person—he wasn’t his parents’ son or brother’s brother—he was just a regular guy. Instead of ‘I love you,’ he said, ‘thank you,’ as in he was thanking her for giving him a taste of normalcy, how it feels to be with someone who doesn’t care about who he is.

She’s a little mad at him, but she is angrier at herself. She even told him the truth about her mom, when Asuma found all the pills in the kitchen cupboard. Asuma had said nothing, before telling Shizune that it’s not her fault, how things worked out. She started crying, and then they started kissing, and then they were fucking, and she came with his nose pressed into her neck, legs around his waist, looking up at the ceiling while her lower back was pressed into the kitchen counter. He made her feel like a human being, and it’s incredibly disappointing to think that he saw her as otherwise.

Aoba tilts his head, looking at her carefully. “Shizune, do you even think you’re a person?” Before she can answer, they all hear a loud thud downstairs, which can only mean the Guy is finally back.

**

With his lower lip between her teeth, Kurenai deepens an already nasty kiss as Raidou presses his hips down into hers. They were going to go on a swim, but then she pressed a thumb into a weird looking freckle on his back, and joke about skin cancer led to her back being pressed into the dirt. They aren’t far off the path and the bushes aren’t that high, which is to say that they aren’t even trying to hide.

Her hand cradles the back of his neck as he presses his erection against her, and somehow, it’s both sweet and profane, the way that they press their bodies together. Kurenai arches her back, her tummy meeting his, shivering when his hand comes up behind her leg, lifting it over his hip. Raidou moves to kiss her jaw, and she stares up past the trees, looking at the sky. She is conscious of the fact that they aren’t wearing much, and that they’re pretty much out in the open.

“What if someone sees us?” she whispers.

“So?” he replies, kissing her neck.

“Raidou!” Kurenai half-moans, pressing herself even closer.

“Cast a genjutsu,” he hums, his mouth over her throat.

“Waste of chakra,” she sighs, moving her hand down the back of his neck, along his spine, her fingers hovering just above his skin.

“I’d do the same if I could,” Raidou says, pressing his forehead to hers. “I’d make it look like we’re a plant.” Kurenai kisses him again, smiling when he undoes the bottoms of her swimsuit.

“But I want to put all my energy into this,” she says, “and genjutsu requires focus.” Raidou smiles.

“So, fuck it,” he says, “you’re so pretty, no one would even mind seeing you.” Kurenai blushes a little, looking away for a second. She’s thinking about her earlier conversation with Aoba and Genma, and right now, she wonders if Raidou thinks of her as a person. For all the nasty things they’ve done together, Kurenai has never once doubted Raidou’s care for her; she has never felt used or taken advantage of, even when she’s demanded he use her, or pull her hair, or hold her just a little too tight.

Aware of how attracted he is to her, and deciding to consciously leverage her sex appeal, she presses her breasts against him, putting her hand on his cheek. His eyelids soften, and he smiles down at her, and once again, his handsomeness hits her over the head.

“Can I ask you a question?” she asks. Raidou nods, looking at her softly. “When I’m sucking your dick, do you see me as a person?” His mouth falls open, and he opens and closes it as he tries to come up with an answer.

“I mean…” he trails off, because to be honest, when his dick is in her mouth, he isn’t really thinking about anything at all. Kurenai frowns up at him, not pulling away but not pulling him closer, either.

“Is that your real reason?”

“My real reason for what?” he asks, still trying to figure out how they ended up here.

“For fucking me,” she says, “do you do it because I’m here, or because you love me?” _Am I a thing or a person?_

“Of course, it’s because I love you,” he says. He doesn’t think he could go back to having sex without feelings ever again. “Who is telling you otherwise?” Kurenai presses her lips together.

“Aoba said you don’t see me as a person when you’re inside of me.” Raidou’s lip twitches.

“He is a literal cockroach,” he says, “don’t listen to him.”

“But…”

“Kurenai, when we’re having sex, it’s all about how it feels to be with you, inside of you.” Raidou says this quietly, putting his hand to her face as hers falls from his. “It’s you. You’re my real reason.” He’s not even saying this to get in her pants. This is how Raidou truly feels.

Her mouth parts, showing the white tips of her teeth. She wraps her arms around him, feeling his muscles and bones and fat, and for a second, she marvels at how such a perfect person can be made from such simple things.

“You’re so romantic,” she mutters, “that’s supposed to be me.” Raidou smiles at her.

“I try,” he says softly. Kurenai lies down and looks up at him, smiling.

“Roll onto your back for me,” she says, letting go of him. He blinks at her, before doing as she says. It’s cold when they part, and neither of them particularly enjoys the sensation. Kurenai sits up, pulling her swimsuit bottoms off, before she moves to straddle him. Raidou presses his hands to her thighs as she takes off her swimsuit top. His mouth goes dry when he sees her breasts bounce.

“Why’re you naked?” he asks softly, moving a hand to palm a breast.

“Because I want to make you smile,” she says, “and I want to show you my real reason.” Kurenai moves back, pulling his waistband back to reveal his erection. Taking it in her hand, she strokes him once before she angles her hips, and she sinks onto him.

She looks down at him, mouth open, wanting to say something crazy horny to off-set the tenderness of her real feelings. She can’t ever imagine herself living without him, and he makes her feel so nice and full, not just in the carnal sense but in the emotional-spiritual sense. Like, she doesn’t want to get pregnant, but she wouldn’t be above talking about his babies, nor would she hesitate to ask him if he’d be willing to make sure she can’t walk right.

But none of that is none of the about is revelatory or remotely funny or as comically thirsty as she would like to be. As she begins to roll her hips forward as he thrusts up, she thinks about what’d she like to say, exactly. Kurenai begins to touch herself as Raidou moves faster; they’ve both decided that they truly do not care if someone sees them. He grunts as he tries to move faster, and it’s worth it when she moans and her breasts bounce. Skin slaps against skin, and she bites her lip as he looks into her eyes. Sex is always so intimate, with him, even when he’s making her laugh so hard that her ribs are cracking apart or she’s angry enough to think about putting him through a wall (but she’d never, ever do that).

She fingers herself into orgasm, letting the white-hot melting feeling build and build until it leaks out of her, looking up at the sky because it’d be too much to look down at him and see the desire for her in his face.

“I want to live on your penis,” she moans. Raidou doesn’t stop, but he does let out an undignified snort that definitely started as a giggle.

“What?” he asks.

“My real reason for fucking you,” she says, careful to speak slowly and enunciate perfectly, against the cadence of his thrusts, “is that I want to live on your penis.” She’d let him break her apart from the inside with his penis too, but he might stop if she said that.

“Am I just the person attached to it?” he asks, grinning. Kurenai takes the hand that was between her legs and sticks it in his mouth, and she grins when she feels his tongue on her fingertips. There is something really beautiful about how ugly they are together.

“No,” she says softly, “your penis is special because it’s yours.” She takes her hand out of his mouth and leans down, so her mouth hovers over his. “But your dick is definitely, objectively, a really nice one.” Once, she got a little too drunk and described it to Anko in the kind of language that made her friend fall off her chair and cover her mouth, because never in a million, zillion years did Anko ever think that a) Raidou’s penis was that nice to look at and b) that Kurenai is capable of saying such nasty, perverted things with complete and utter sincerity.

Raidou says nothing, just grinning, until he rolls them over and suddenly, he’s looming over her. He pauses, to kiss her deep and nasty, with the kinds of feelings that make them both feel gooey and soft. Raidou is still inside of her when he pulls back, and begins to actually, really and truly, fuck her. Kurenai curls around him, caging him, her palms pressing into his back while her legs are wrapped around his waist, so she’s completely open to him but, at the same time, protecting him too.

Her back is getting scratched up from twigs and rocks, while he feels the stinging feeling of a bug bite on his back. There are leaves and twigs in their hair, and it makes her feel like they are from a myth or story, like they are the first man and woman. He makes her feel like she matters on a cosmic scale, and she makes him feel like there is something more to life than just enduring it. 

“Please,” she sighs, and he knows what she’s really asking for, and when she comes again, he is close behind.

He pants on top of her, tucking his face into her neck. “If you live on me, does that mean I get to live in you?”

“Yes,” she says in a small voice. His nose is crushed into her neck when he kisses her over the jugular, and she stays pressed close until he needs to pull away, and he keeps lookout while she gets dressed, and then, as he promised earlier, he lets her push him into the lake.

**

The reason that no one walks in on Raidou and Kurenai is that everyone else, with the exception of Asuma, who is still napping, and Shizune, who is knitting in her and Kurenai’s room, is in the living room, watching Kakashi, Guy and Aoba play Monopoly. Genma is technically playing, but he isn’t really paying attention. Anko sits on the arm of the couch beside Aoba, while Genma is on his other side, Guy sitting beside him. Kakashi sits on the armchair on the other side of the coffee table, while Ibiki sits in the armchair across from him, at the other side of the coffee table. Yuugao sits between Yamato and Hayate on the other couch—Hayate is the only one of the three who isn’t drinking from a juice box.

“This is boring,” Anko declares, kicking out her legs.

“The most boring things in life are often the most important,” Kakashi hums, “you would know this if Aoba didn’t do your taxes.” Anko puffs her cheeks, looking around.

“Where is Kurenai?” she asks.

“Probably breaking the law with Raidou,” Genma says, “they went swimming, so don’t go outside until they’re back in here, fully clothed.” The last time they were here, he walked in on them in the laundry room.

“One day, they are going to end up on a list,” Kakashi hums, strategizing.

“You sound like you hope they will,” Guy says, “I say we should let them live their lives in peace.”

“Come back and tell me that when you see Raidou’s bare ass,” Genma replies, “only then do you get to tell me what to say.” Guy shrugs, like, whatever, this isn’t worth it, as he watches Kakashi land on one of his properties. Kakashi begrudgingly pays up, while Anko bumps Aoba with her leg.

“Can you get my sweater from Kurenai and Shizune’s room?” she asks, eyes big.

“Don’t your legs work?” Ibiki asks, sipping a beer. Anko frowns at him.

“It’ll be warmer if Aoba gets it,” she says, “isn’t that right Aoba?” He sighs and stands up, placing his hand on her head.

“Okay,” he says, “make sure no one skips my turn.” Anko beams up at him as he walks around the couch, before he heads to the stairs.

**

That conversation with Aoba doesn’t sit right with Shizune. The idea that Asuma doesn’t see her as a person rankles her. He wouldn’t have asked if she was okay, or looked into her eyes, or asked her to give herself over to him if he didn’t think she was a person. Shizune is still a little bitter that they’ve spent four days at this cottage, and he hasn’t once approached her.

She’s sitting on her bed, frowning at the scarf she’s trying to knit. Her mother, in one of her more active moods, taught her enough to knit a scarf. Shizune didn’t think she’d be so bad at it. Tsunade tells her that she needs to learn not to give up just because she isn’t good at something on her first try, which is rich, because long ago Tsunade should have learned that she sucks at gambling. Shizune makes a frustrated noise as she tries to pull out a loop, when she hears a knock.

“Come in,” she huffs, not looking up when Asuma pokes his head in. He’s still clinking away the sleep. He doesn’t want to go downstairs and see what all the noise is about. Asuma doesn’t want to be alone, but he wants to be in the quiet.

“Are you okay?” he asks, nonchalant. She turns to look at him, and because they’re alone, she doesn’t hide the pout on her face.

“Obviously not,” she says, holding up a quadrilateral, which Asuma supposes is supposed to be a scarf. “I suck.”

“You don’t suck,” he says, walking into the room. Kurenai got the bigger bed because of Raidou, but Shizune’s bed is right along the window. It looks right over the lake, which is grey from here. She’s wearing a yellow sundress, the kind with slim straps and nipped in waist that emphasizes the fact that she’s not a gangly teenager anymore.

He’s been thinking about their time together. Asuma isn’t in love, or even infatuated, but he feels an incredible amount of tenderness and care, and okay, he was hoping that _maybe_ something would happen. But it feels like she won’t look at him, which hurt his pride enough to keep him from approaching her until today. Asuma sits down beside her, smiling when he sees her face turn pink while she fiddles with the wool in her hands.

They don’t say anything for a few minutes, Shizune grumbling while Asuma watches with a lopsided smile, sitting back on his hands. Eventually, she throws her knitting, including the skein and needles, onto the floor, letting out a little shriek, pressing her hands to her face.

“I suck so much,” she says, fingers covering her eyes. Asuma exhales loudly, wheezing a little because he thinks her frustration is very funny, as he pulls her hands from her face.

“A lot of people suck at knitting,” he says, “this means you can find a cooler hobby.” Shizune turns red and pulls her hands away, crossing her arms. An unwelcome side effect of fucking him is that he makes the backs of her legs tingle, and she does not much care for the sensation. It’s like he’s invaded her, which is not what she signed up for.

Asuma slumps a little, because he was really hoping that, at the very least, they could still be friends. He frowns. “Hey,” he says, “are you mad at me?” Shizune blinks.

“Mad at you?”

“Yeah,” he says, “are you mad at me?” Shizune works her jaw from side to side, thinking.

“Well…” she trails off, “I’m a little mad that we haven’t spoken since that week.” Shizune is, of course, referring to the week at her parents’ house, and they fucked all over the place and told each other their deepest secrets. It isn’t love, not the romantic kind, but it is more intimate than either have been before, and that kind of intimacy is a drug for people with parents who always seem disappointed in them.

“It felt like you were avoiding me,” he says, “I thought I did something wrong.” Shizune shakes her head.

“No,” she says softly, “I’m just not very brave, I guess.”

“That’s not true,” he says. Tsunade doesn’t teach cowards. Shizune blows air out of her nose, looking away.

“I just wanted you to come talk to me first,” she says. In this particular moment, she is keenly aware of the fact that she could have taken an active role in all of this and spoken to him first.

“It’s a two-way street,” he replies. They both stare at her hands, which are on her lap, as she fidgets with her fingers. “What would we have talked about?”

“Fucking,” she says, looking up at him. His mouth drops open a little, like he was expecting her to make this difficult, or to force him to say it first.

“Fucking,” he says, “is that your real reason?” Shizune nods. Asuma smiles. “I’m not even a person?”

“It’s because you’re a person,” Shizune hums, “get that right.”

“Okay, got it,” he replies, smiling even bigger when she stares at his mouth.

Having done this song and dance with her before, he knows that she smells very clean, that she will press her lips together before she leans in, that she’s going to kiss him first and that when she does that, she’ll let him lay her down and hook her leg over his hip.

When it happens as predicted, Shizune sticks her hands up his shirt, her thumb brushing against a scar from a wound that she actually healed, back when they were younger. She’d forgotten, which made him feel a little lame for remembering it, but then she pressed her mouth to it in apology and he stopped feeling sorry for himself.

They say that there is nothing better than the first time, but each time he’s with Shizune, it gets better. It’s like they become less self-conscious, like when they peel each other apart with their mouths and hands, they become less and less afraid of what the other will see.

He sits up and takes his shirt off, while Shizune sits up on her elbows, legs spread, the straps of her dress having fallen from her shoulders. Asuma kneels down to hover over her, but she sits up, pressing her hand to his chest, blocking him. He tilts his head, confused, and only becomes more so when she presses her mouth to his chest, right between her fingers.

“What?” he asks. She looks up at him, licking her lower lip.

“I want to take care of you,” she says quietly. Shizune wants to make it up to him, for being such a jerk, for all the mean things she thought in her head when he didn’t approach her again. Asuma blinks and nods, still unsure of what she means.

“So…” he trails off, “what does that mean?”

“Get naked and I’ll show you,” Shizune hums, pulling away to take her clothes off. “And get on your back.”

“So bossy,” he grins, standing up. He manages to get naked first, while Shizune fiddles with the zipper of her dress, before stripping it off and leaving it on the floor. Asuma watches her take off her pink panties, which have a little bow on the front, and then she’s naked for him. He swallows back the lump in his throat, because while he has been inside of her before he isn’t used to the idea that she desires him in that way. They’ve known each other since they were kids, but they’ve only recently met as man and woman.

Shizune climbs up onto the bed, sitting over his erection while Asuma stares up at her. She leans down and kisses his collarbone the way he does when he’s on top, about to enter her. She feels one of his hands on her lower back, moving over the curve of her ass and then down the back of her thigh, making her tingle.

“How’re you going to take care of me?” he asks softly. Shizune moves so that her face hovers over his. She’s a serious and disciplined person in every area but her sex life; if he hadn’t experienced it, he wouldn’t believe her to be capable of softness. She looks at him, before leaning down and giving him a nasty kiss. He bumps his hips into hers, and she actually giggles when she feels his erection right against her. He’d be put out, if she didn’t make it up to him by stroking his dick and kissing his jaw, while all he can do is hold her and look up at the ceiling.

 _Let me take care of you._ She can tell that no other woman, no other person, has said that to him. How? Because he looked up at her with wonder when she said it. Her strokes are slow, and she’s careful not to yank or pull or bend his dick in a weird direction. “Tell me to stop if you don’t like it, okay?” she says quietly, before she plants kisses down his chest and stomach, kissing the soft spot just inside his hip bone, before she puts his dick in her mouth.

It has been there before, but he still sucks in a breath and sits up on his elbows to watch. He feels it in the backs of his legs and in the pit of his stomach, all floaty and light. When his dick hits the back of her throat and their eyes meet, he bites his lower lip to keep a truly embarrassing noise inside his throat.

Before he became sexually active, Asuma would have said that the best part of sex is all the physical stuff—someone you’re sexually attracted to, touching all of your soft bits and nerve endings with their hands and mouth and their own nerve endings. But now that he’s had sex, Asuma can say that the best part is when you’re with someone who actually cares for you. Like, Shizune could be giving him a terrible blow job (she isn’t, for the record) but he’d still enjoy it because she’s trying to take care of him, and that spirit of care is what he actually likes. Like yeah, the sucking and licking and moaning are all great but if a gun were held to his head, he’d have to admit that even if Shizune bit him, he’d still appreciate her effort. Once again, his tummy is tight and he feels like his soul is being sucked out of his body, so she’s actually doing something he didn’t think entirely possible—her care is equal to her prowess, i.e., she’s actually taking care of him. He bites his lip, trying not to lean into the speedy feeling building inside of him. He clears his throat, and she stops, looking up at him. It’s clear to her that he would like her to stop.

When she sits up, he watches her rubs her lips together. When she relaxes them, they are glossy from saliva and precum. It makes his lip twitch, because he thinks it’s gross and funny, but it’s also a turn on, because something that came out of him is smeared on her mouth.

“Are you ready?” Shizune asks, moving so that her hips hover over his.

“Yes,” Asuma says. She nods, and when he’s finally, completely inside of her, they sigh. He rubs circles into her hips as she begins to move forward, rolling against him. Soon, they are moving together, making little noises, groaning and moaning but not speaking.

Shizune doesn’t know this about herself, but she actually has nice breasts. They bounce nicely and her nipples are cute. It’s something that Asuma casually noticed when they were fucking in her childhood bedroom. He keeps this observation to himself because he doesn’t want to creep her out or make her feel awkward, but that doesn’t mean he can’t lie back and enjoy how she looks when she fucks herself on him. He moves his thumb to her clit, and she smiles at him, with all of her teeth.

The truth is this: they aren’t in love, but they make each other feel incredibly safe, emotionally and physically and sexually, which makes intimacy easier than it ever was before. As her moans climb in pitch, getting a little higher each time, he digs his fingers into her hips, and it feels like he is hitting the core of her. Leaning down to kiss him, she stops halfway when she discovers the angle is too good. He’s not even mad, because it gives him the chance to take care of her, and all she does is moan and look into his eyes when he starts moving up into her. “Hurry,” she moans, and he nods, knowing what she means.

Her orgasm comes straight from her guts, and it makes her press her face into his neck, her mouth open over his collarbone. Her breath is wet and hot, and soon she’s whispering in his ear to come inside of her, “come inside me now, please” to be exact and so that is what he does while she kisses his neck. He turns his face so he can look into her eyes, and it is at that precise moment that she chooses to give him another nasty kiss, right on his mouth, one of her hands cradling his jaw.

He feels like she pulls away too soon as she sits up, tucking her short hair behind her ears. They are both a little breathless, and she already feels sore, like, in her stomach and ribs, which makes no fucking sense but, on the other hand, her relationship with Asuma makes no sense and quite frankly, feels a little random so she isn’t too surprised that his dick does strange things to her body. She would never be mad for him giving it so good, but the awed look in his eyes tells her that she did the same thing for him. _Are you going to feel me right in the ribs too?_

“Wow,” Asuma says, feeling his dick twitch inside of her. It’s kind of gross that Shizune twitches back, but it’s even grosser that he notices which, well, what can a guy do but smile at how good disgusting feels?

“Did I do a good job?” Shizune asks, earnest, with a bright look in her eyes.

“Yeah,” he hums. He’s always a little dopey after sex. Shizune thinks it’s really cute. It makes her want to sit on top of him and hold his face in her hands while he blinks lazily at her.

She opens her mouth to tell him this, when the door opens and Aoba cluelessly walks in, not looking at them at first, whistling to himself. Shizune and Asuma say nothing, looking at him, incredulous at both the disrespect and obliviousness. He is clearly looking for something on Kurenai’s bed, looking under it too, before standing up and turning and seeing Shizune, who is completely naked on top of an equally naked Asuma, both staring at him like he’s an idiot.

“What the fuck?” Aoba squawks, covering his eyes. He doesn’t even want to think about how Asuma’s penis is definitely still inside of Shizune.

“Why are you here?” Shizune says, irritated. He ruined their moment.

“Why didn’t you lock the door?” he asks, eyes covered.

“Why didn’t you knock?” Asuma grumbles, sitting up on his elbows.

“Excuse me, are you still inside of Shizune while we’re having this conversation?” Aoba asks, “fuck, I feel like I just walked in on my parents.”

“No way Asuma and I would make a fuck up like you,” Shizune says, still not moving.

“He would never in a million years put a baby in you,” Aoba shoots back, “no one knocks up an educated woman.” Shizune very nearly gets up to give Aoba a piece of her mind, but Asuma locks his arms around her waist, not that Aoba would be grateful or anything. “I’m looking for Anko’s sweater. Do you know where it is?” Shizune frowns and stands up, making Asuma wince when she pulls away. She doesn’t even bother putting any clothes on, pulling the sweater out of a pile of clothes in the corner. Wordlessly, she walks right up to Aoba, takes him by the shoulders to turn him around, so he is facing away from them and looking at the door, before throwing the sweater on his shoulder.

“Leave,” she says. Aoba throws a peace sign over his shoulder as he walks out of the room, not even quipping about locking the door.

Shizune sits on the edge of the bed, away from Asuma, touching her arm and looking away from him. He can tell that Aoba really hurt her feelings.

“He was just being an asshole,” Asuma says softly, “that stuff isn’t true.” Shizune presses her lips together, crossing her arms, feeling lame for being so upset.

“I don’t even want a baby,” she says quietly, “I’d probably mess it up like my mom messed me up.”

“You’re not messed up,” Asuma says, moving to sit beside her, their thighs pressed together. “No one ever becomes the person their parents intended them to be, and you are the last person who would make a child feel innately stupid or lacking, because you know what it feels like.” He smiles when she looks at him, her eyes big.

“You think so?”

“I really do,” he replies, his grin lopsided. Shizune smiles back, opening her mouth to say something, when they hear a loud crash. They immediately get their clothes back on, before leaving the room to check it out.

**

Aoba knew that Asuma and Shizune have slept together, but he didn’t really think that they would actually hook up again. He figured they would just be awkward with each other for a few months, and then they could all act like it had never happened. Never, in a million years, did he think that he would walk in on Shizune sitting on top Asuma, both of them flushed and sweating, looking at him like he is the problem.

Aoba shakes his head, trying to get rid of the mental image. At least he didn’t see Asuma’s bare ass, but that isn’t saying much. It’s not like he ever wanted to see Shizune’s nipples, although that’s preferable. “Oh Anko,” he says when he gets to the top of the stairs, “how I have suffered for you!” Everyone looks up at him, Anko frowning.

“What do you mean?” she asks. Aoba does a little hop and skip, humming, too busy thinking about how he wants to answer the question to pay attention to where his feet are going. Miscalculating, Aoba swears when his right foot slips, and he falls down the stairs, on his back, before landing with a thud at the bottom. The entire time, the sweater is in his hand as he holds it up, over his head.

Everyone stares at him, before Anko gets up and runs over to him. “Aoba!” He groans loudly, rubbing his face.

“This is the place where Yamashiro Aoba met his untimely end,” Aoba says, giving Anko her sweater.

“What happened?” Genma says, while Guy gets up to get some ice from the freezer.

“I walked in on Shizune and Asuma, and it was like seeing my parents and realizing how I was made,” Aoba whines, doing nothing as Anko puts his head on her lap, fussing over him. She isn’t very maternal, but Aoba is her little baby. Guy comes back with an ice pack wrapped in a tea towel, passing it to Anko, who places it on Aoba’s head with care.

Shizune and Asuma are soon coming down the stairs, fully dressed. No one says anything when Shizune kneels beside Aoba, touching his cheek.

“Are you okay?” she says in a quiet voice. Asuma stands behind her, a little too close, something that makes Genma and Kakashi exchange a look.

“I’m dying,” Aoba deadpans. Shizune frowns, tucking her hair behind her ears. She knows this isn’t possible, but she is paranoid that there could be cum in her hair.

“Aoba thinks you two are his parents,” Genma says, grinning at the confused expression on Asuma’s face, while Shizune looks annoyed.

“I’d never make someone so dumb and obnoxious,” she says, pressing her hand into Aoba’s side. He winces, instead of speaking.

“Asuma is pretty dumb, and obnoxiousness is a learned quality,” Ibiki says, standing up to go to the kitchen, bored.

“I don’t think they’d make a bargain bin Kakashi.” Genma barely gets the words out of his mouth before Ibiki corrects him.

“The ugly girl’s Kakashi,” Ibiki says, holding up a finger. Aoba makes an indignant noise, while Anko glares at Ibiki and Genma. Before either can say anything, the screen door opens, and Kurenai slips in, followed by Raidou, both wet and wrapped in towels. They both look a little shy, and Kurenai is looking back at Raidou, as if to get reassurance.

At first, they don’t notice that Aoba is on the ground, until they see Genma looking right at them, an amused expression on his face.

“Congratulations,” he says, “you’re not the horny couple Aoba walked in on.”

“Horny couple?” Raidou asks. Kurenai smiles, because she immediately knows who Genma is referring to. She steps closer to Raidou, so that she can speak right in his ear.

“Asuma and Shizune,” she says, smiling when Raidou’s lips turn up. It’s nice to no longer be the only people fucking. He thinks they’re cute, if not a little random.

“You know,” Kurenai says quietly, so that no one else can hear, “if Genma switches rooms with Asuma, you could switch with Shizune and we won’t need to sneak around anymore.” Raidou smiles, nodding.

“I’ll float the idea later,” he says, “when it’s just Genma and Asuma.”

“I’ll talk to Shizune,” Kurenai says, “she’s horny.” Raidou presses his lips together, trying not to draw attention to them by laughing.

“What’s your real reason?” he asks in a low voice. He knows that he doesn’t need to elaborate. Kurenai looks right into his eyes, a big cosmic look on her face.

“You.”

**Author's Note:**

> Posted something v. random so I am posting something less random. Thank you for reading, and I hope this was entertaining and distracting from this hellscape world!


End file.
